Youth League Enthusiast Pillows

Soccer Uniforms

"I AM at my usual position."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

Sportsmanship

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"See - it works in my fantasy research league."

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

'Soccer Mom's Diner.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

'The staff seem to get younger and younger.'

"I can't make you look younger, but I can make you look like you've had a lot of expensive plastic surgery."

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

Game Of Chance and Game of Skill.