Little League Supporter Pillows

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

A boy with a football

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'Watch out for the hidden ball trick.'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

Sportsmanship

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"That was two what?"

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"