Little League Legends Pillows

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'My dad won't let me take steroids until I'm seven.'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Gareth Bale

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I've been transferred again.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

Sportsmanship

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

Born to play ball.

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."