Little League Championship Gifts

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

Bowled over again!

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

World Cup Fan.

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Giant Foam Finger'.

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Sportsmanship

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

Boy holding football.

Boy skating on lake, classmates giving scores.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'