Little League Coach Gifts

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Don't laugh, you should see him catch fly balls."

"Remember, son, it's not about winning ... it's about not embarrassing me."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I AM at my usual position."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

Adding people with a background in music has made the team better. The new hitting coach is just like clarinet player Benny Goodman. Benny Goodman was "The King of Swing"! Nobody is better with that instrument than this guy. That's why he's playing first bass! The rock star with bat cleanup for the team. He'll have some big hits this year! And the opera singer will be the new ace on the mound. Thanks to the perfect pitch!

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"There's your problem."

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"Figured out who should bat cleanup yet, Skipper?"

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."