Little League Champ Gifts

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

Knocked it out of the park

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"Must get a longer cable."

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

Robotic man mowing the lawn

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

Sportsmanship

Boy holding football.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

Boy skating on lake, classmates giving scores.

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."