Little League Championship Pillows

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

Sportsmanship

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

Boy skating on lake, classmates giving scores.

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

Boy holding football.

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."