Little League Season Pillows

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

American Football.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Football.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Before instant replay.

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'