Literary Perfectionist Gifts

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Writer

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Santa's Out Tray.

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

"Page 33, line 4..."

"Now you can send it."

Communikations Semminar.

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

'Mister, the only thing wrong with these computers is the spell check's broken.'

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"