Publishing Perfectionist Gifts

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Bullseye!

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Golf lessons

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Not that slowly back...'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Writer

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Poetry repairman

Perfection

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"You're welcome."

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"