Publishing Perfectionist Gifts

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Bullseye!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

Golf lessons

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Not that slowly back...'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

For sale - Used only Once.

Poetry repairman

Perfection

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Writer

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"You're welcome."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."