Page-turner Perfectionist Gifts

'Think I'll wait for the novelisation.'

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Reading

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Poetry repairman

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

Writer

Deadlines, Inc.

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

Job Security

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"It needs a lot of editing."