Penny-pinching Perfectionist Gifts

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Bullseye!

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Power/Expenditures

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

Mount Everest.

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'Thank you. It took me a long time, but I built it to scale.'

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

'I'm banking on gas prices going up this summer.'

Sea of rubbish.

'This can't be paradise - the reception is terrible!'

"Spend every last penny. Leave money to my spoiled kids. Spend everything...leave everything..."

"For a laser technician, you're not very focused."

'He went into shock when you presented him with the hospital bill.'

'Perk up. Just think of all that interest piling up at more than 5% per annum.'

'I'd like you to throw it just a teensy-weensy little more inside.'

Honer at his honing machine.

'You just slip it in and it's done. I don't know why you spend all that time building those ships in a bottle when a row boat is much easier.'

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meals!"

"For every meal, you should get something from each food group. That's an important message...even when you eat out! So, Gracie, what does your father tell you when you eat in a restaurant?"

'Think I'll wait for the novelisation.'

"I guess I'll just sit here since I can't risk being seen wearing everybody's stuff. On a more positive note, I'm actually saving money."