Paragraph Perfectionist Gifts

'Tom's never been good at managing his word count down...which is why I've got a 363 page shopping list!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

Bullseye!

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Ironing Punctuation