Punctuation Perfectionist Gifts

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Writer with punctuation spray.

'First off, there's no 'y' in resume...'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

Someone who knows apostrophes

'They're arguing over whether it should have an apostrophe.'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

In HR office: 'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Woman to co-worker: 'Some people want to abolish apostrophes ? but I'm very possessive about them.'

I've got all the words I need for my novel, it's just a case of putting them in the right order.

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

"Comma!"

'Nobody understands the apostrophe.'

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

'More might have turned up, Sir, if you had put the apostrophe in the correct place...'

You need to learn punctuation. I'ts, important later! 'in life'

What Editors Do

"Who teaches apostrophe usage?"

'The grammar in your report is terrible!'

'Can you give me one good reason why you never use hyphens?'

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

"I'm sorry, but refusing to use an Oxford comma isn't really grounds for divorce."

'I think you'll find that should be 'to whom' rather than 'to who'.'

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad!"

'Some say I shouldn't be so picky, which is why I'm not going to stop seeing you for ending a sentence with a preposition.'

Books: Closed Down Due To Exasperation.

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

Book reading a work titled: 'How to be self-reflexive.'

Will separate coordinate clauses for food.

'More might have turned up, Sir, if you had put the apostrophe in the correct place.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.