Punctuality Perfectionists Gifts

'Are you sure you tried hard enough to be on time?'

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Late BroomStick

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Dating an English Major

"You keep impeccable time."

Sundial Time

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Ironing Punctuation

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

'Am I the first one here?'

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

Time Clock

"I used two spaces after every period."