Punctuational Perfectionist Gifts

"I insisted on the quotation marks."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

Bullseye!

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Ironing Punctuation

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Surreal ale

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'Am I the first one here?'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"