Punctuation Perfectionists Gifts

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"I enjoy cooking my pets and my family."

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"I've just invented the question mark."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Surreal ale

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Ironing Punctuation

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

Punctuation Karaoke Night

'Am I the first one here?'

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."