Punctuation Enthusiasts Gifts

A man drives down a road that has two road signs with quotations marks positioned on either side of it.

Your lips still say "No," but you started out with six exclamation points above your head and now you're down to one. !

Comma Sutra

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Lessons in Prehistory.

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"I've just invented the question mark."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Ironing Punctuation

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Do it write the first time.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'