Lingerie Connoisseur Gifts

"It's a thongbird."

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Underweird bras."

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

A Freudian slip...

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

"Wrap it in any old bit of newspaper - she's bound to return it."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched ... but I still think we need professional models.'

"For the missus or yourself?"

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

"So, our holiday was cancelled but at least our tastebuds can still go to Italy."