Light-hearted Lovers Gifts

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

"This stool shall pass."

Get crazy once in a while

"FREEDOM!!!"

"Have you been bathing in moonlight?"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Preachers with far too much input

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

'Wow! I'm a dog person too!'

Giving thanks.

'I know you got nine lives, but do you have to eat for all of them?'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

Golf ball escaping.

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

"Mother said she started toward the light but she's so bad with directions that she made a couple wrong turns and had to turn back."

' That's the first time we've had fireworks in the bedroom! '

"Call me!"

"Don't eat so fast"

"Wrong hole!"

"Wait - leave it on."

'How about giving me your phone number?. . . But I don't know your name.'

Before the Dawn's Early Light

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'...Oh, and I bought some new smalls in town...'