Light-hearted Couple Gifts

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

' That's the first time we've had fireworks in the bedroom! '

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

Get crazy once in a while

'You may now kick the bride.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

true love.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'Don't worry too much about it dear, just say I do and we can get on with the honeymoon.'

Preachers with far too much input

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Husband and Child in Pram

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"I told you I wouldn't be any good at this game. Look, I've gone and hit the ball down one of those little holes again."

Armchair Dancing

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'If you weren't afraid to commit, you'd CARVE it, not use a pencil.'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

Golf ball escaping.

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"That's so romantic Otto! You're farting OUR song!"