Light-hearted Family Gifts

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"This stool shall pass."

Get crazy once in a while

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'So, picture a family entering church in their Sunday finest, They sit down and suddenly,,,'

Multisports

Family Feeling

"So, Mrs. Fessler, I understand you're a stand-up comic."

"It took the better part of seventeen years, but you finally get me."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Husband and Child in Pram

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

'She's a lousy cook, but it's great fighting food.'

'I don't know what these dots are ... but ya mind if I connect them?'

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

'Mum, stop reading over my shoulder!'

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"Hemorrhoids. Any other questions?!"

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

Skateboarding

'Hey, you eat with your face in the bowl, you're not house-broken, you can drool as good as I can and you're a quadruped... Mind if I call you 'Brother'?'

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'Wow! I'm a dog person too!'

Golf ball escaping.

"Here comes your order of Play-Doh."

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"Jakey's not a huge fan of spicier dishes, but we do want him to know what's out there."

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"