Legal System Critics Gifts

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Minority Report

Truth

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"They're class action figures."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."