Legal System Lover Gifts

'For shoplifting tennis shoes and sneakers, I'm sentencing you to boot camp.'

"They're class action figures."

'You, Sir, were at EVERY residence on the night of the 24th December! Making YOU the prime suspect in EVERY case on that night!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Truth

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Upholding the Law

Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay

Policing the Police

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

Five to Eight