Legal System Aficionados Gifts

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

"Permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

"They're class action figures."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'