Justice System Aficionado Gifts

"Governor just called with a reprieve!...But it's only, wait, did you not change the clock back?""

A toast, to the ones who got away.

'The next case, Your Honor, is Elmer B. Galsworthy versus just about everybody else.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."