Justice System Aficionados Gifts

'Since I already know she did it, can I go sit in the lobby and watch TV?'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

Law 'N' Order

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).