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'Since I already know she did it, can I go sit in the lobby and watch TV?'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

Audiovisual law

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'