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You're weaving a tissue of lies, counselor. I have a cold, your honor. I simply plan to blow my nose in it.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

Law 'N' Order

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."