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"Governor just called with a reprieve!...But it's only, wait, did you not change the clock back?""

'The next case, Your Honor, is Elmer B. Galsworthy versus just about everybody else.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mou...Man trap!

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

Law 'N' Order

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'You're my 100,000th conviction... so, I'm going to take 25 off your sentence.'