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'I've been called up for jury service!'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'Must you be so judgemental?'

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

Law 'N' Order

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."