Judicial System Enthusiast Gifts

Supreme Court Rules Suspension of Parliament Illegal

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Sue The Bastards

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

Law 'N' Order

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."