Legal System Admirer Gifts

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Let's have an instant replay of that brilliant maneuver by the defense counsel!"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

Truth

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"They're class action figures."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

Baby's first words.

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

Ancient Greek setting. Man at desk writing on scroll says: 'Yes, they're draconian measures ??" but then, I am Draco.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

Two lawyers in a royal court

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'