Legal Comedy Admirer Gifts

"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'