Legal Comic Admirer Gifts

'I think your best bet is to hang yourself in your cell.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cow of BEEF

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Antonin Scalia

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."