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'I think your best bet is to hang yourself in your cell.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Cow of BEEF

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Antonin Scalia

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."