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"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'Judge Mental.'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.