Legal Comedy Appreciator Gifts

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

'Judge Mental.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

Devil on trial - "We find the defendant guilty of being in the details."

Night of the living will

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

The Sheepdog Trials

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'