Justice System Skeptic Gifts

"And you wonder why people hate activist judges?"

"Don't worry, folks—with me on your side, the truth doesn't stand a chance!"

'A jury of my peers? - Do you know what those guys are LIKE?'

"The court finds you guilty as charged and you'll spend the rest of your natural life in prison. Oh, by the way, happy birthday."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Minority Report

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Truth

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Not guilty?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Can you hear me now?"

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Five to Eight