Justice System Jester Gifts

"I've always said - juries are impossible to predict."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Let's focus on the case before you start thinking about befriending a guard."

"And lastly, Your Honor, I would like to present Mr. Richard Coan in the small but crucial role of the defendant."

"May we have a moment, your honor. My client hasn't quite memorized the script."

"May I assume that when you say I should spend the rest of my life behind bars, you are just expressing your opinion?"

'If the verdict is guilty, Mr. Foreman, simply say 'Guilty.' Please refrain from shouting 'Yer outta here'....'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Unfortunately, Mr Gibbons, you happen to be a lousy criminal. And I happen to be a lousy lawyer."

"Pay attention! This is important!"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Not guilty?"

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'