Justice System Commentator Gifts

'Sure, NOW they tell us!'

Truth

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"Inactivists"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Can you hear me now?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Supremacist Court

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"The governor is considering your petition. He has one question: did you vote for him the last election?"

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

'It's innocent or guilty. There are no do-overs.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

'Guilty or not guilty? - That doesn't leave me much wiggle room.'

'I plead not guilty by reason of money.'

"May we have a moment, your honor. My client hasn't quite memorized the script."

'I think you should just plead ignorance, it's so. . . credible.'

'If the verdict is guilty, Mr. Foreman, simply say 'Guilty.' Please refrain from shouting 'Yer outta here'....'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

'Okay, the print media convicted you...but trust me, the video media will overturn the verdict.'

"Don't worry, folks—with me on your side, the truth doesn't stand a chance!"

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

QC appointments fall to all time low.