Legal Representative Gifts

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"Melanie, find me a little pro-bono case to cleanse my palate."

"It's for you - it's my lawyer."

'You don't call this a legal document, do you? I can understand every word of it.'

'A lawyer orders lunch.'

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Make eye contact with the jury, but not homicidal-maniac eye contact."

'And you've written to the council on this one.'

'Next time the prosecutor shows you pictures of the crime scene, try not to blurt out, ‘Been there, done that.''

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.'

'No case law, but we did get 50,000 hits on Youtube.'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'I like to begin with a joke, so I'm going to give you my opponent's side.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

A man tipping the scales of justice in his own favour.

"Have you found a precedent?"

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

Law book with a devil's tail bookmark.

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

'You're the lawyer who didn't know what a Mareva Injunction was.'

'It's a court approved GPS system. It guides you through the maze of legalities.'

'Don't worry...I specialize in false hope.'

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

'Farnsworth, we are a law firm. We don't need a mascot!!'

'Who ever says crime doesn't pay isn't a lawyer!'

'Do you feel up to receiving lawyers?'

"The People rest, Your Honor."

'Mum-I need a solicitor!'

I love Lawyers

'Son, it's not whether you win or lose, it's what you bill per hour.'

"I'm his biological lawyer."

"Your Honor, if it please the court I'd like to deliver my opening comments in the form of a power ballad."