Legal Representatives Gifts

'Guilty!?! For crying out loud! If I was the one who stole the $10,000,000 - don't you think I could afford a better lawyer than this clown?!?'

"Not all lawyers are blatant money grabbers, Mr. Parfitt, but I am."

"I'm acting as my own attorney, may I act as my own jailer too?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"