Legal Advocate Gifts

Gay Rights

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"Why, yes, Your Honor. That would make me his Advocate."

Criminal getting a shorter sentance because the victim was his wife

"Let's play David and Goliath. You'll be David and I'll be the ACLU."

"Hi - I'm the Devil's Advocate!"

Trial by Media

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

I love Lawyers

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Slavery Reparations

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'