Legal Advocates Gifts

'Maybe taking the immigration case is a bad idea.'

Trial by Media

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Slavery Reparations

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Detention Center

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Moulting"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."