Judge Advocate Gifts

"Hey! You're supposed to be a hanging judge."

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Good boy."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

I love Lawyers

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Court's in recess!'

Barristers

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Now that's a win."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You call this a constitution?"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."