Judge Advocate Pillows

"Hey! You're supposed to be a hanging judge."

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Thank you, Essential Workers

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"You call this a constitution?"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Now that's a win."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'