Leafy Lettuce Lover Gifts

Hydroponic Gardening

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

'Lettuce pray!'

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

House of Beans.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Anatomy of a Salad

'For Sheila it wasn't enough just to be a vegetarian, that's why she became a ruminant.'

Rocket Lettuce.

"I'd better not eat any more spinach. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"I hereby declare that from now on, every food must be served in a lettuce cup."

'She's stopped talking to me....She just yells that I have to grow...'

Bulk foods...mixed beans, 49 cents...assorted healthful legumes, 98 cents.

The Joy of Greens.

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.