Lettuce Aficionado Gifts

"I hereby declare that from now on, every food must be served in a lettuce cup."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'Trickle or Spray!?'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"They’re real."

Okay, dig that one up!

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Police Cow!

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

Cow and Milk

The worm that churned!

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

'Shuck me.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Runner Bean...

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

'Now, let's keep this 'agriculture' invention quiet -- we don't want the government getting involved.'

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

"...It's a cross between a beetle and a praying mantis. It says grace before eating your crops."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

America insists that Brazil and Europe plant G.M crops - 'Unfortunately Sir, the Europeans are still resisting Monsanto's advances...'

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'