Lettuce Aficionado Gifts

"I hereby declare that from now on, every food must be served in a lettuce cup."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"They’re real."

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Okay, dig that one up!

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Cow and Milk

Police Cow!

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'Shuck me.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

The worm that churned!

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Runner Bean...

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"...It's a cross between a beetle and a praying mantis. It says grace before eating your crops."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

'Now, let's keep this 'agriculture' invention quiet -- we don't want the government getting involved.'

America insists that Brazil and Europe plant G.M crops - 'Unfortunately Sir, the Europeans are still resisting Monsanto's advances...'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'What do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?'