Lettuce Lover Gifts

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Anatomy of a Salad

Produce Dept. Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll.

Man labouring over vegetable patch

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'You're a real cabbage patch doll! Lettuce introduce ourselves!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Advocado

"Expense account or regular?"

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Eat Beef

'Mother?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Runner Bean...

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Out to lunch'.

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

Apex Computas,gone for a byte.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

Artichoking victim

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"I have called this meeting to order... so where’s that lunch menu?"

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"In my previous life I was arugula."